“Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”
This end of the year, I felt the need to return to myself. I needed to reflect on what I experienced throughout the year and be present to connect with myself and my family. I decided not to force myself to work and do what I usually call “productive.” Intentionally I sought to regenerate myself through sharing my time in what I enjoy most, reading, reflection, rooted in nature, connecting with my people, and through prayer and gratitude with the divine.
2019 was a personal journey, to reaffirm who I am, and who I think I was. It was hard, exciting, disconcerting, surprising, brave, unimaginable, challenging, touching. There were many tears of pain and resentment along the way, and many others of happiness, and gratitude. A necessary farewell to beliefs that no longer contributed to my life purpose.
Last year, I recognized myself as a perfectionist. I noticed its impact on the perception I have of myself, of my interpersonal relationships, of my actions, and my omissions.
I brought to consciousness what motivates me, my values, beliefs, and judgments.
I watched my emotions and learned that there is always a second option available, not to judge them.
It opened the door to the possibility of seeing vulnerability and high sensitivity as part of my strengths.
I felt the genuine fear of the possibility to have a permanent illness and recognize the judgment that for years I issued towards my mother. I was able to understand what it is to live the fear and anxiety of believing yourself sick and asking for forgiveness.
I made my love to learn the leader to give a loud voice to the thoughts and interpretations that mistreat me, to abandon fears, to allow me flexibility, and the courage to jump my comfort zone.
I read and heard many books, podcasts, and conferences. I joined a master’s degree, and then a postgraduate. I resumed my Polish classes, and for a while, I attended public speaking and Photoshop workshops. But the most significant learning came from connecting with others. There is no electronic version or book that replaces human contact 🙂
I built new bonds of friendship and valued the reciprocity of those I knew to have.
Being a mother gave me the commitment to lead by example. I showed my children to value themselves, to be compassionate, and grateful. And I learned, from them, to enjoy my body through exercise, and experience my creativity through drawing and writing. They show me to dare live experiences that cause me nervousness, such as heights or speed. To laugh simply because.
As a spouse, I recognized myself as demanding, honest, and direct with my expectations. Aware that the base is trustworthy because our love, respect, wanting the best for the each other, communication, admiration, and mutual support.
And last one which I had relegated for a while, I learned to recognize myself and enjoy myself as an individual — making decisions for my well-being and professional redirection.
For all the above, this 2020 arrived with energy in high vibration. All those experiences, those memories only open the way of what I seek to continue today.
My most significant commitment this year is to renew myself.
• Grow, love, let flow, practice curiosity, be present, give, ask, receive, transcend my attachments, let go of the need for control, and enjoy the journey.
• I will seek to reconnect with the inner girl in me. Caring for her, nurturing her deficiencies, and relating to others from a conscious way beyond a projection.
• I will work to solidify the love and appreciation I have on my body. He needs to listen more often: I see you, I thank you, I love you.
• I will continue searching in my spirituality, peace, acceptance, and light.
• I will seek to heal my closest relationships based on knowing my transgenerational heritage. Distance will become a good pretext!
Finally, I am excited to reconnect with the world through Coaching. Connect from the heart, the desire to grow collectively. I am inspired to accompany primarily adult, adolescent, and young women in their self-leadership path. I trust that all the prosperity we want to see in the world begins there.
This letter, beyond sharing my feelings with you, is a letter to thank the universe for 2019. It is a manifestation of love and a firm intention to make 2020 an abundant and fantastic year!
Happy New Year!